Thursday, August 28, 2008

Blubber Love

Melanie pulls a favorite shirt on. Once again, her blubber hangs out smooshing over her pants. It's time to talk:

Melanie: I wish you wouldn't hang over my pants like that. It just...looks so gross!

Blubber: What's your problem? Just suck me in. Problem solved!

Mel: I AM sucking you in. And I can't breathe like this anymore! Am I supposed to spend the whole day thinking about you? You're so self-centered. I'm 3 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. I knew you were coming to visit after the pregnancy, but quite frankly, I thought you would be gone by now.

Blubber: What? It's nice here! Besides, where else can I to go?! There's always Dr. Pepper and Peanut Butter Cups here. I love peanut butter cups!

Mel: too. I mean, I always have. I just don't understand - when I was 16 you were so flat and thin. Now, I just feel like you've given up. I don't even recognize you anymore!

Blubber: Ah, baby, things have changed. But, I still love you, love the kids. I'm just trying to help out. That's why, I mean, when they lay on me, I'm just like a pillow underneath their little heads and I love it. I really do.

Mel: too. But we just can't keep going on like this. Something has to change. I've started biking and swimming now, even running, and, eventually, you'll have to leave.

Blubber: Hey, it's what's best for you baby, that's all I want. But, you know, if you ever feel like giving up, slowin' down, I'll have a Reese's with you for old times sake. Ok?

Mel: You're so bad for me, blub. Why can't I leave you...

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